Baby Got Back
by Wonder1234
Summary: A Young Frankenstein fic! Frederick's thrown his back out! And with only Inga, Frau Blucher *neigh*, and Igor to help him, along with certain others ; , it is an interesting chain of events!
1. Chapter 1

**First, a big round of applause for my beta, Bodiechan, without whom none of this would be possible ;)**

**I'm a bit ashamed to admit this, but, this fic was very mildly inspired by Roger Bart's back injury when he missed those few weeks of shows when Young Frankenstein was still on Broadway (and I mean mildly. The causes are not the same at all... I hope. Does anyone know what actually happened to his back?). I have no idea where it came from, really! :P**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be as cool as Igor and as crazy as Froderick ;P**

"Hm, dat vas nice," Inga purred, snuggling closer to Frederick's warm, bare chest. "I did not zink I vould be able to go for round three, but you just vent right for it, did you not?"

Frederick nodded stiffly, his face slack. He knew the tenseness in his body would give away what he'd been hiding from Inga since "round three"... he just hoped she wouldn't notice. Frederick shifted his position slightly and _almost_ let out a grunt of pain.

"I mean, it may not seem like it, but you can be_ very _forceful sometimes." Inga continued, oblivious to his discomfort. She sighed happily, "I love you, my darling doctor."

He just nodded again, the same as before.

"Frederick?" Inga raised her slightly-mussed blond head to stare at him curiously. "Vhat is de matter?"

He looked surprised. "Hm, what? Oh, nothing darling. Nothing at all."

"Are you certain? You look like... like you are in pain."

Frederick laughed loudly, wincing as he did so. "Don't be silly, Inga! I'm not in pain! Why in the world would I be in pain?" Like he needed to prove it, Frederick sat up quickly, only to fall back against the pillows, a groan escaping his lips, "I'm in pain!" A fresh sheen of sweat broke out across his forehead.

"I knew it!" Inga exclaimed. She shot up, yanking a sheet with her to cover up. The jostling movement caused Frederick to groan again.

"Oh no!" She cried. "Vhat did I do?"

"No, no. It wasn't you," Frederick assured her, trying to move lightly to see if that would eliminate the pain. It just made it worse. "Okay, okay.... maybe it was you!"

Inga stared at him worriedly, her hands wringing themselves without her fully realizing. "Vhat do you zink it is?" she asked nervously.

"I... I'm not sure... but I think... I may have thrown my back out." If it could have, his face would have flushed with embarrassment. His back was killing him. Even lying down, a heavy burn radiated downward into his legs.

Inga quirked an eyebrow, "You... threw your back out during sex?" She bit down on her lower lip to keep herself from laughing.

He frowned at her and tried to sit up, but fresh pain seized him and he gasped out loud. "Yes, okay! Yes! I threw my back out during sex!"

Inga stuffed her fist into her mouth, but that didn't stop the giggles from bubbling out. "Oh, Doctor! You are getting old!"

"Thirty-two is not old!" he whined. Tears were beginning to prick at the corners of his eyes because of the pain, but he blinked them away.

Inga chuckled as she moved to run a hand lovingly through his crazier-than-usual fly-away hair, but Frederick shouted, "**_No!_** Don't _touch_ me!"

She recoiled almost instantly, "Vhat do you vant me to do?"

"Put your robe on, go downstairs and get Frau Blucher--" A horse whiny rang out. "-- and only Frau Blucher." Yet another whinny. "She may know what to do." Frederick instructed, breathing heavily. "I trust her more than I trust Igor."

Inga nodded and slid lightly out of bed, trying to move as little as possible. "But Frederick," Inga paused, her brow wrinkling in confusion, "vere you not de Dean of Anatomy at dat school of medicine in America?"

"The back never was my specialty!" Frederick said hotly, "It was always and only the brain!"

"Okay..." Inga pulled on one of her more concealing robes and glided towards the bedroom door, glancing back at her husband worriedly. She was simply a laboratory assistant; she knew nothing in detail about the human body. She'd never felt more hopeless!

There was a pregnant pause.

"Inga?" Frederick said, sounding thoroughly ill at ease.

"Yes, Doctor?" she asked.

"Could you... assist me by helping me get some clothes on? I don't want... You Know Who to come up and see me like this." Totally naked except for his socks and some blankets covering him.

Inga's face cleared, and she couldn't help but smile slightly. "Oh ya... ya. Yes, of course."

**Aw, poor Freddie, don't you think? Well, serves him right. He thought he could bring a dead guy back to life and get away with it! This is karma getting back at him! Ha!**

**No, I don't really hate him though (He's my favourite character, and Roger Bart is my secret boyfriend. Shhh! ;), but... the reason for his injury is quite funny, non?**

**Reviews are wonderful!**


	2. Chapter 2

**For future reference in the fic, yes, I realize that there_ are_ camera's in the thirties, just... go with the joke, kay? :D**

**xXx**

After forty-minutes of excrutiating dress, and another ten of just helping Frederick lie back down, Inga hurried barefoot down the long stairwell, that lead to the kitchen.

Frau Blucher and Igor were huddled around a small round wooden table, cards in hand and a stack of chips in between them. Inga paused in the archway to the room, unsure whether or not she should disturb them. Then the memory of Frederick's pain filled face flashed before her mind, and she cleared her throat to gain their attention.

"One moment." Frau Blucher said irritably. Apparently it was a stressful, high-staked game, because Igor kept glancing nervously from one card to the other, biting down hard on his lower lip. The tension continued to build, until finally...

"Go fish!" Frau Blucher said smugly. Igor groaned loudly and threw his cards down, his face overcast. Inga applauded wildly, "Oh, how vunderful for you, Frau Blucher!" (Nearby, some horses just went wild).

Frau Blucher stood while shoving the chips bag down her shirt, a self-satisfied smile on her face. "Vhat is it, Baroness?"

Unfortunatly for the poor man upstairs, Inga's short attention span had switched to focuse on the card game. She frowned, momentarily failing to recall her reason for coming down. Then, she remembered. "It is ze Doctor! He is injured!"

Igor and Frau Blucher exchanged glances and tried to keep their mouths from twitching. "Vhat happened?" the house keeper asked, failing to keep her usually severe expression, while Igor grinned from ear-to-ear. He had to see this.

"It is his back," Inga said. "He believes dat he threw it out."

Igor let out a hoot of a laugh. "Oh boy! Somebody get a painter! We've got to sketch this down!"

"No!" Inga looked so fierce (and oddly out of character) that Igor didn't even bother to kid around. "I am so vorried." she continued, "Frederick cannot move vithout feeling pain; he vould not stop screaming vhen I helped him dress."

"So that's what that was."

Inga turned her pleading blue eyes on Frau Blucher. "Please, can you do anything?"

"I vill inspect ze situation, and I vill se vhat I can do. I vonce studied in ze art of traditional acupuncture." She raised her warted chin proudly.

Igor looked surprised and alarmed. "Really?"

**_"Jes, really!"_** Yet she pursed her lips together, obviously displeased at the idea of this extra work.

Inga looked relieved. "Oh good." She gripped Frau Blucher with a pinching hand and steered her away; Igor began to follow like a lapdog, until Inga turned and held out a hand to stop him. "No." Frau Blucher continued up the stairs, the hem of her long dark skrt dragging behind her.

Igor gave Inga a disappointed, pouty sort of look. "No? Oh no!"

"Oh yes," Inga said, though she did cast him a sypathetic glance. "Frederick only vants Frau Blucher and myself up dere." She turned and mounted the stairs quickly, her robe fluttering delicately.

"Why?"

"Because he is embarrassed enough as it is!" A door shut, echoing loudly through the oddly quiet castle.

"Yeah, I'd be all red too." Igor said mockingly. "Getting hurt during sex, honestly! Who does that? I wouldn't!" he paused, "Well, I guess I would have to do the deed at least once before not getting hurt. The lucky duck's got me beat there!" Because, obviously, Igor is saving himself for that special lady back at Hunchback Hollow...

Humming happily to himself, Igor lurched back into the kitchen to snack on some _Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte _from the night before.

**xXx**

**Ugghhhh.... this is soooo short! Sorry!**

**But ohmigod, yes! Hunchback Hollow! Look for it again in my next Young Frankenstein fic: _The Son of Fronkensteen_, coming soon! ;)**


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